Soul Mates

DRAFT 

وَمِنۡ اٰيٰتِهٖۤ اَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُمۡ مِّنۡ اَنۡفُسِكُمۡ اَزۡوَاجًا لِّتَسۡكُنُوۡۤا اِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَكُمۡ مَّوَدَّةً وَّرَحۡمَةً  ؕ اِنَّ فِىۡ ذٰ لِكَ لَاٰيٰتٍ لِّقَوۡمٍ يَّتَفَكَّرُوۡنَ‏ ٢١

And of His signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.

[Al-Quran 30:21, Translation: Pickthall]

• From each soul (nafs), Allah has created its soul mate (azwajun) 
• The purpose of creation of soul mate for each soul is for them to find rest (sukoon) in each other 
• Allah has appointed love and mercy between a soul and its soul mate 
• In that are signs for those who think about it 

يٰۤـاَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوۡا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِىۡ خَلَقَكُمۡ مِّنۡ نَّفۡسٍ وَّاحِدَةٍ وَّخَلَقَ مِنۡهَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيۡرًا وَّنِسَآءً​ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللّٰهَ الَّذِىۡ تَسَآءَلُوۡنَ بِهٖ وَالۡاَرۡحَامَ​ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيۡبًا‏ ١

O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty toward Allah in Whom ye claim of one another, and toward the wombs. Lo! Allah hath been a watcher over you.

[Al-Quran 4:1, Translation: Pickthall (text in parenthesis removed)]

• Allah has created mankind from a single soul (nafs)
• From that soul (nafs), Allah has created her soul mate (zawjaha) 
• Created from them many men and women
• Keep your duty to Allah through Whom you ask (claim rights)  
• Keep your duty towards the wombs (guard them) 
• Allah is Always Watching you   

اَلرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُوۡنَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّٰهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلٰى بَعۡضٍ وَّبِمَاۤ اَنۡفَقُوۡا مِنۡ اَمۡوَالِهِمۡ​ ؕ فَالصّٰلِحٰتُ قٰنِتٰتٌ حٰفِظٰتٌ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّٰهُ​ ؕ وَالّٰتِىۡ تَخَافُوۡنَ نُشُوۡزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوۡهُنَّ وَاهۡجُرُوۡهُنَّ فِى الۡمَضَاجِعِ وَاضۡرِبُوۡهُنَّ​ ۚ فَاِنۡ اَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُوۡا عَلَيۡهِنَّ سَبِيۡلًا​ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيۡرًا‏  ٣٤

Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.

[Al-Quran 4:34, Translation: Pickthall]

• Men are in charge of women, because 
• Allah has given excellence to men over women, and because 
• Men spend of their wealth on women 
• Therefore, the women who do right / reform are:  
• obedient 
• guard in their husband's absence what Allah wants them to guard   
• So, the woman from whom you fear nushuz:
• advise / admonish them  
• observe separation 
• beat them (lightly) or (... some understand this clause differently)*   
• Then, if they obey you, seek not a way against them 
• Allah is the One Who is Absolutely Exalted (above all) 
• Allah is the One Who is Absolutely Great (above all)

وَاِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ شِقَاقَ بَيۡنِهِمَا فَابۡعَثُوۡا حَكَمًا مِّنۡ اَهۡلِهٖ وَحَكَمًا مِّنۡ اَهۡلِهَا​ ۚ اِنۡ يُّرِيۡدَاۤ اِصۡلَاحًا يُّوَفِّـقِ اللّٰهُ بَيۡنَهُمَا​ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلِيۡمًا خَبِيۡرًا‏ ٣٥

And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware.

[Al-Quran 4:35, Translation: Pickthall]

• And if you fear a dissension between husband and wife 
• Appoint an arbiter from her people, and an arbiter from his people 
• if they desire to reform, Allah will make them agree and bring about a reconciliation 
• Indeed, Allah is the One Who Has Always Known, is Always Aware

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The institution of marriage was established by Allah when He created the first human soul. Each soul has its soul mate. The purpose of creation of the pair is so that they can find rest and tranquility in each other. To facilitate that in a beautiful way, Allah has appointed love and mercy between them. 

Like all institutions, there has to be an organisation of roles and responsibilities. Men are at the top of their own family's organisational hierarchy. Women are placed under their administration. As in all hierarchal relationships, there has to be a clear top-down relationship defined. Allah has defined it for the family institution. Allah has also defined how to handle disobedience, as well as provided safeguards for the wife's rights to seek help in case of dissension. 

Finally, Allah also permits divorce in irresolvable situations. 

* Video Title: Hitting Women - A look at 4:34 and Beyond by Nouman Ali Khan discusses the ayah till just before the hitting clause. Other videos of his on YouTube explore the meaning of the ayat in further detail. May Allah increase us in knowledge, guidance and taqwa. Aameen. 

Last updated on: April 28, 2024

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